Post-partum traditions

Sistahs, what do your post-partum rituals entail? Across the Diaspora, we must revive traditions of this nature. It’s critical.

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Honouring our ancestors: Dia de los Muertos

Mornin’ folks. 
For those who haven’t seen Coco yet here it is: https://www0.123moviesfun.org/film/coco-22867/watching.html?ep=1&sv=2
I absolutely love it, however, my daughter isn’t ready for it yet. Soon come though. For now a few scenes scare her.
 
A friend just told me about “The Book of Life.” It’s from 2014. Same subject. Children’s film. I’m gonna check it out sometime. Have any of you seen it? If so what are your thoughts?
 
 
Looking to further educate your children about Dia de los Muertos? These links may help:

The journey of peaceful parenting

Most of us had parents who operated from a fear-based mindset. As a result, we may have naturally adopted that mindset as our own, and that negative or fear-based mindset could be what we are operating from each day, affecting every interaction and decision.

The fear-based mindset says:
1. I have to control my child’s behavior.
2. My child learns through consequences and/or punishment not to repeat bad behavior.
3. I am the dominant figure; my child is under me.

Because many of us were parented punitively, we learned early on that this is how children are raised. This makes shifting our mindset a challenging but important step in becoming conscious, positive parents. You essentially must re-wire your brain to think about children and parenting in a new way, and this requires important self-work. The good news is that conscious – or authoritative – parenting is shown to have the best outcome!

Authoritative parents operate from a love-based mindset that says:

1.My role is to guide and teach my child appropriate behavior.
2.My child learns through the examples set in the home and through limits that are set and enforced respectfully and with empathy.
3.While I am the leader, my child has equal rights to be respected and to be heard.

Authoritative parents place a high value on the relationship, making sure to create and maintain a positive, healthy parent-child relationship. They take the time to explain their rules and boundaries to their children, and they take their kids’ feelings into consideration. They also take the time to teach appropriate behavior and head off problems before they start. Research shows that children with authoritative – or positive- parents tend to be happier and more successful. They are more likely to be responsible, have higher self-esteem, and make good decisions.

Steps for Shifting Your Mindset:

-Educate yourself on the development of your child’s brain. Understanding what your child is cognitively capable of will go a long way in changing your perspective on behavior. For example, when you understand that a toddler’s tantrum isn’t a calculated move against you but rather the result of overwhelming emotions in an immature brain, you will parent that child differently. When you see naughtiness, the urge is to punish, but when you see a child who is struggling, the urge is to help.
-Reframe your thoughts surrounding your child’s behavior. Rather than seeing it as misbehavior, see it as an opportunity to teach your child something valuable. Assume that your child has positive intent even if the behavior is negative. Seeing the best in your child means you will approach the problem with a positive mindset.
-Take time for proper self-care. A well-hydrated, well-nourished, well-rested parent is able to stay calmer and make better decisions. You matter, too!
Feed your mind good things. Read uplifting books and articles. Follow positive people on social media. Develop healthy friendships with optimistic and like-minded people. Be careful not to complain or criticize too much. Having a happier, more positive mindset, in general, will help you be a more conscious parent!

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Deschooling myself while unschooling my daughter

How gruelling this is! Mercy!  If I’m honest it’s been years now. Long long long before I became a mama.  I’m incredibly thankful for the time I’ve been taking to deschool myself. Now that I’m a parent I’m being tested on whole nex’ level. Let me tell you! Sistah Akilah Richards always helps:

 

Note: Abundance seekers, please don’t be put off by minimalists’ perspectives.  Remember prosperity comes in various forms. ie. Less stuff (albeit everything you need AND want) & more life.  Think: More time to travel, a focus on entrepreneurship and obtaining real estate etc. Freedom bound! 

Modelling: The key to parenting

Mornin’ folks! As an Afrikan-centred mama my focus continues to be on nationbuilding. At the very least this entails expressing self-love via self-care every single day. It also means building with others who have a similar worldview and lifestyle. This is my main priority. Many of us call it “being proactive.” Second to that some of us choose to respond to white privilege/supremacy in other ways too. Think: speaking up, letter writing, organizing/participating in protests and more.  It’s pretty easy to be “on our game” as adults, however, some of us struggle to pass the torch when we become parents. Modelling is key. Explaining things in developmentally-appropriate ways is critical. Here are some resources that can help us:

https://cmasj.org/2018/01/31/13-books-teach-children-protesting-activism/

https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/48592/7-books-that-teach-kids-about-social-justice-and-activism

https://www.colorlines.com/articles/dos-and-donts-talking-kids-color-about-white-supremacy

https://www.cultofpedagogy.com/social-justice-resources/

http://www.teachingforchange.org/

https://www.tolerance.org/

https://www.tolerance.org/magazine/publications/beyond-the-golden-rule

https://www.teachingforblacklives.org/

http://www.educatorsforsocialjustice.org/teaching-to-disrupt-white-supremacy.html

 

 

The joys of building a homeschool co-op

Thankfully we live somewhere that has a very active homeschool community. It’s pretty large too. Very well put together using Facebook and What’sApp to keep us all connected. LOVELY! At the same time I’ve had the desire to start a small homeschool co-op  comprised of families of similar mindsets/lifestyles.  Over the last year the latter has been birthed and it’s coming along well. If you’re trying to build a homeschool co-op here are some links that may help:

https://www.reallifeathome.com/easy-tips-to-help-you-plan-a-great-homeschool-co-op/

https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/1007633/how-to-start-a-homeschool-co-op

 

P.S.- Our co-op has an unschooling vibe since most of us would be labelled  “unschoolers” within homeschooling circles.